Just 3: Attention Please! by Becky Lipinski, DPT

We have thousands of things we love about our kids, but when asked, what is one of a parent’s biggest struggle? Attention! Why can’t I get his attention? Why won’t he listen? Believe me, parents, it’s not just you. As therapists, it’s essential that we gain your child’s attention. We have such a short amount of time with your kids, and we want every moment to count. You know what I’ve learned in 17 years of working with kids of all abilities? Doing the OPPOSITE of what I’ve done as a parent is what works! I hate to admit it, but I’ve done everything wrong when trying to get my own child’s attention. I have to consciously remind myself to put on my therapist hat when talking to my own kids, because it works far better than the knee-jerk attempts that I’ve used in the past. My three tips are common sense, but not automatic. Do they sound too easy? Great! Try them on for a day, week, month and see how it goes. So, without further ado, here are my top 3 ways to get a child’s attention.

1. Go into the space your child is occupying. As a parent, I frequently yell from another room, “Go put your shoes on! We’re leaving!” Yet one of my top 5 pet peeves is when my children ask me questions from another room. So why do I do the same? It’s worth the extra steps to find your child before giving directions. Bonus: you’re modeling the behavior you want from them!

2. Get on your child’s eye level. It is nearly impossible for your child to continue to engage in another activity with a parent’s face within 12 inches of their own. Someday soon, I’ll stand on a chair for my child’s eye level, but we all have our challenges

3. Whisper. That’s right, the opposite of yelling. Ever notice how our children ignore our yells but are “all ears” once we start a private conversation on the phone? That’s because yelling becomes white noise to them. We really do not want yelling to become white noise. We need it in our lives for when it counts, like in an emergency. Do you want your child to continue playing Crossy Road while you’re yelling, “Fire?!” For most matters, quiet instruction is what counts.

The secret is putting all three of these elements together, every time. Watch how your child reacts when you go into the room, get down to eye level, and clearly whisper, “Go put your shoes on now.” We’re in the business of helping families. I want your day to go smoothly, without frustration. Under your calm care, your child will blossom. If I can do this, you can too!